You’re allowed to no longer want the things you used to.
You’re allowed to start wanting things you previously didn’t.
You’re allowed to change your mind.
You’re allowed to expand, adjust, and reconsider people, things, and ideas.
In my work with acupuncture patients and coaching clients I feel this constant theme of change and evolution. So many people are in the midst of shedding old stories of what no longer works for them and courageously stepping into their power. It is such a privilege to witness these changes and hold space to support. It is also a theme that I can personally relate to as well over the past few years.
This evaluation and reevaluation of life allow us to live authentically, experience growth, and explore what it means to be human. But while this may sound inspirational, it’s not the whole picture. All this being said, there is one important aspect that sometimes can get lost as we enthusiastically embrace our personal callings. The part of the picture we often overlook is the consequences of changing our minds.
If you’ve changed your mind in a way that impacts people around you (which is your prerogative), it’s on you to consider what that change means for them. It’s fine if you wake up one day wanting to change your career, get a divorce, cut your hair, buy a dog or relocate to a different country. It’s your life. But you are still responsible for the promises you made, the lives you’ve co-created, or a shared mortgage.
None of this means you can’t change your mind, but you need to communicate, apologize (when appropriate), and be fair and responsible. Live the life you’ve been given to your fullest, but don’t forget that living your best life does not mean you can ignore how it affects others.
Do what fuels your soul while nurturing and protecting your relationships and the communities around you. It’s not about self-abandonment. It’s about navigating your life changes with respect, patience, and grace. When we make these changes with integrity through self-respect and respect for others we can move forward on our paths with clarity and real power.
Self-Care Corner:
When feeling anxious you have the power to self-soothe. This regulates our nervous system to bring us back into balance and ground ourselves in the present moment.
Here are 3 of my favorites:
Crocodile pose: Lie on your stomach with your forearms stacked above your head, then rest your forehead on your wrists. You may find it more comfortable to use a prop or a blanket to rest your head on.
Let your body sink into the floor and take a deep circular breath that fills up your abdomen, pelvis back and ribs.
Butterfly hug: Cross your arms across your chest as if you are hugging yourself with right pals resting on the left shoulder and left palm resting on the right shoulder.
If it feels safe for you, then close your eyes. If you would like to have your eyes open, just lower them to a point in front of you and soften your gaze. Begin to tap your upper arms—left, right, left right in a slow rhythmic motion.
Continue tapping for 1-3 minutes or as long as it feels best for you.
Soothing touch: 20 seconds of soothing touch reduce cortisol levels in individuals as well as buffer the effects of stress and cortisol.
Self-soothing touch can be anything that feels best for you. For example:
- Placing one or two hands on the heart or belly
- Stroking upper arms
- Stroking cheeks